Buffy the Vampire Slayer: NC-17: Faith/Buffy

Over the last few years, Christmas had been particularly problematic for Buffy Summers. Christmas was never white in Southern California; but she often thought back with fondness on the one year when it had been; and then her fond recollection would become nostalgic, and then sad, for she would recall the lover who had been with her then, and that he was gone, and that her life had never been the same since his reluctant but necessary departure.

But this year, the first Christmastide since the destruction of her small hometown of Sunnydale, California, she was surrounded by friends, and reminded herself that this was a good thing, and that she should be happy. She and her sister Dawn had found a small house not far from the remains of the doomed Sunnydale, and her friends had joined them there for an intimate and happy observance of the holiday.

One friend in particular seemed to capture the focus of her attention this year. Faith had been in Sunnydale that year when it had snowed; at that time she and Buffy had still been uncertain friends, though their relationship had quickly turned bitter. But Faith had changed since then, and Buffy found herself drawn once again toward her; toward this young woman who alone in the world could understand the horrible burden that Buffy had, until recently, carried on her young shoulders.

Faith was a lusty girl, voluptuous in both body and appetite, with large, brown eyes and a full mouth that could be both sensual and impudent by turns. On this Christmas Day she sat cross-legged on the floor, laughing and happy, her easy smile a sign of her newly-earned acceptance among Buffy's circle of friends, but in earlier times she had been outcast from this fellowship, nurturing a darkness within her that had nearly proved not only her undoing, but also her death. Had it not been for the intervention of a sympathetic soul, who understood her darkness because he had lived through and overcome a greater darkness, she would have been lost in a hell of her own making, a hell which had brought her within moments of claiming her own life.

Buffy thought about this as she watched Faith; she had often reflected on the events that had brought Faith back from the cloying and dangerous grasp of unrepentant evil, because at the time the actions of Faith's benefactor--indeed, Buffy's own ex-lover--had seemed to her to be a betrayal of the worst kind. She had since forgiven his actions, as she had forgiven other actions the man had perpetrated regarding Faith; though it often seemed to her that his comportment toward Faith had been too close, perhaps, too intimate in ways she couldn't quite understand, because they had known the nature of the Beast that hounded both their souls, and this darkness was something she could never quite comprehend, never having been as close to it as either of them had been.

The man Buffy had lost, but still cared deeply for, was now beyond her grasp; he was far away from her and she had not even spoken to him in some months, for even now just the sound of his voice could bring her to paroxysms of regret. But watching Faith as she laughed and playfully embraced Dawn and Xander, she thought of her lost love, and how Faith's rehabilitation had come about largely because of his actions, and she thought about the darkness in him she had never understood, and realized that Faith knew more of it than she ever could. In the past, similar drifts of thought had lead her to jealousy and resentment of the beautiful young dark-eyed Slayer, but today she found her response to be somewhat different.

Though she had never admitted it to anyone, not even quite consciously to herself, Buffy had always felt a sexual pull toward Faith; a curiosity perhaps, more than anything else, but also a genuine attraction which led her to wonder what it might be like to struggle in the throes of passion with someone her equal in strength. For Buffy, as a Slayer, possessed strength and stamina beyond that of a normal human being; and even her vampire lover had not quite been her equal in this or any other physical contest. The thought had another appeal, as well; that of the forbidden, the titillating, that which she could not express to anyone else, a kind of secret fantasy desire she thought never to fulfill in reality. Much like the thought of intimacy between a Slayer and a vampire; though this she had done, and more than once.

Buffy preferred men; the thought of a man in her bed, with broad, muscular shoulders, a strong body to subdue her, a limb of prodigious girth and length to penetrate her womanly parts, was to her the epitome of sexual pleasure. But the thought of Faith, with her Slayer strength and power, and her seemingly unquenchable appetite for carnal activity, and the darkness within her which had brought her so close to the heart of the man Buffy loved, brought out a need in her, as well, which she had never been able to express to the other young woman, and which she had never dreamed she might have the chance to act upon.

The presents having been opened, and dinner having been eaten, the small group indulged in a profligate consumption of egg nog laced with rum. The effect being that, by the end of the evening, Buffy was warm and relaxed, her inhibitions perhaps less than they would have been under normal circumstances. She said goodnight to Xander, Giles, Willow and Kennedy. Xander and Giles departed, traveling to rooms in a nearby hotel, while Dawn went upstairs to her room, and Willow and Kennedy to the small guest room Buffy had offered for their use until New Year's Day.

Faith, however, showed no sign of being ready to retire as of yet, and instead poured rum into two glasses, eschewing the excuse of egg nog.

"Drink up," she told her companion, and Buffy smiled, and drank the rum. She could feel the effects of the alcohol coursing through her; she felt weak and a bit silly, and when she looked at Faith the renewed heat of that old, forbidden desire filled her limbs.

At that moment, from upstairs the sounds of womanly giggling emerged; it was certain that Willow and Kennedy had fallen into indulgences, possibly as warmed by the alcohol as Buffy herself was. Buffy looked toward Faith and found her smiling, looking very happy and uninhibited, and before she was aware it was happening, Buffy had moved toward her friend and kissed her.

She withdrew precipitously, suddenly realizing what she had done, and looked with shock at the lovely, dark Slayer, prepared to apologize for her rash and forward actions. Faith, though, smiled, and setting her glass of rum down on a table nearby, put her arms around Buffy and embraced her, and kissed her again.

Buffy had never kissed another woman before, not in passion or lust, at least, and this was something quite new to her, but surprisingly not new at all. A kiss was a kiss, after all, and kissing Faith's soft, full, and luscious lips was not really that different from kissing anyone else's. Faith's mouth opened, allowing Buffy access to her warm and welcoming tongue, and Buffy relaxed, allowing herself to enjoy this new experience of intimacy with her friend.

Faith kissed her heartily and with enthusiasm, exploring her mouth in a way that made Buffy think Faith was not as innocent of this experience as she herself was. This made Buffy somehow more comfortable rather than more inhibited, so she put her arms round Faith and caressed her, hesitantly at first, to be sure, but with growing confidence as they continued to kiss each other.

It was not long before Faith, moving with the confidence of experience, took hold of the edges of Buffy's blouse and pulled it up so that her hands could more freely explore the skin beneath. Buffy became quite agitated at the contact, her body seeming to contract in deep waves of desire as the other woman's sure fingers trailed over her soft belly and her waist and her back. Buffy, entranced by Faith's touch, found her own courage and pushed her hands under Faith's tight-fitting shirt, feeling her taut but soft-skinned body, the flexing of her fine, Slayer-trained muscles, and finally moving with bravery to her full, round breasts.

Faith made a sound which Buffy found encouraging, so she continued her brave forays, until Faith's nipples had risen hard and round against the palms of Buffy's hands. Faith was warm and soft, Buffy thought, but she was beginning to move in Buffy's embrace with a certain powerful grace, her strength beginning to emerge as she pulled at Buffy's clothes, her strong Slayer hands doing more than just caressing, but urging and guiding her to expose her body, to open herself to more intimate exploration.

Buffy found herself to be surprisingly willing. Her response to Faith's attentions was much as it would have been had the caresses come from a man. In fact, the strength of Faith's body, her sureness and intensity, reminded her of her old lover in a way, and for a moment she even allowed herself to imagine him there, his bigger hands, his wider, larger body.

Then Faith pressed herself upon her more fully, seeking out her breasts with her ravaging mouth, taking everything of Buffy's that Buffy allowed to her, and Buffy discovered within herself a willingness to open everything, to give everything. Soon she was naked there on the floor, with Faith's demanding body rubbing against her, grinding into her, her fingers searching and seeking with a harsh roughness that aroused Buffy more than gentleness ever could have. This was the thing for which she had been seeking; this power, this struggle between equals. She fought against Faith without fighting her; strained her body as Faith held her pinned to the carpet. It had become as much a struggle of strength as of desire; as much reward to be had in capitulation as in domination. Realizing Faith knew better what was to be done than she herself did, that Faith had experience in these matters, Buffy had no true desire to win the struggle, but knew also that the struggle itself was part of the experience, part of what had sent her blood flowing hot through her veins, part of what made her heart beat hard in her breast, made her want to feel Faith's hot nakedness against her.

Faith took hold of her wrists and held her there, pressed her body into the rough carpet; then, tossing back her thick, raven hair, bent her lips to Buffy's ear. She whispered, told Buffy everything she wanted her to do, while Buffy listened, imagined herself doing it, and let herself surrender to the paroxysmal waves of desire that undulated through her loose and willing body.

"Will you?" Faith whispered to her, and Buffy whispered, "Yes, yes."

But in the preparation for the act, Buffy found herself hesitant, with the desire to please her friend stymied by the unfamiliarity of what Faith wanted her to do.

She was, of course, practiced in the art of gamahuching, but as performed upon a man, not upon another woman. She had many times taken the thick shaft of her vampire lover into her mouth and laved and sucked at him until he, in the heights of ecstasy, had spent himself down her warm and willing throat. She was quite good at it, she was certain, but she was uncertain how to perform upon Faith, who was even now urging her down toward the juncture of her thighs.

However, she had experienced this act performed upon her on many occasions, and so had some idea of how she should go about it. She remembered vividly the swirling movement of a cool tongue against her own taut pearl, her lips and folds, and knew what made her thicken and grow warm, and spend upon his lips, his tongue and fingers. And she was certainly not unfamiliar with the landscape of the intimate parts of a woman's body, having explored her own extensively in private, and with her lovers. So she knew, in theory, what she should do.

The reality was somewhat different, but it drew her; she could feel the heat of Faith's most intimate self against her face, and she moved closer, then daringly darted out her tongue to taste, to feel, to explore the hot, wet flesh presented to her so willingly between Faith's open thighs.

Faith tasted of salt and musk, a flavor Buffy was familiar with, having tasted it on her lover's lips. The familiarity made her brave again, and she began to lick and suck with gusto, exploring the sweet, slick folds, making Faith writhe and buck beneath her, until sounds of great fulfillment came from her, and Buffy, smiling, realized she had brought her friend to ultimate pleasure. She slipped her fingers inside Faith's hot, shaking channel, to feel the rhythms of her ecstasy. It was good, to know she had done this, and that Faith had found it so pleasing. The dark Slayer's large brown eyes turned toward her with a look of satiation, of gratitude, and Buffy smiled.

"Now you," said Faith, and Buffy gladly availed herself of the warmth and skill of Faith's mouth and fingers upon her willing body, until she, too, trembled and shook with the culmination of her pleasure.

Faith laughed at Buffy's abandon, then took her in her arms and cradled the Slayer against her ample breasts, stroking her blonde hair. They sat for a long time in silence, and Buffy thought about the darkness that had been Faith's, that had nearly destroyed all of them, those years ago, before Faith had faced her pain and had become the finer, more complete person she was now. It was much and difficult to think on; perhaps something she might consider with more attention later. Perhaps she should call her lover, the vampire who had in a way brought them together here, and tell him what had happened. Later, she thought, and perhaps he would find it a pleasant image, and perhaps he would speak softly to her, and remind her of the way things had been once between them.

For now, though, she was tired and happy. Faith pulled a blanket down from the couch to cover them, and kissed her on her forehead with warm lips, and held her, and they fell into a quiet sleep beneath the soft lights of the Christmas tree.